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i wish i could say “?????????” in real life it would be very useful


I took my girlfriend to an improv show the other night and during intermission we were passionately arguing over whether half a 5 Hour Energy shot would give you 2.5 hours of energy or 5 hours of half-assed energy so we turned around to ask the opinions of the three people behind us and one of them said “Are all your arguments like this because we heard you in the lobby earlier fighting over the right way to pronounce ‘egg’?”


how about for day of silence straight people have to be quiet and listen to queer people all day




An asexual and pansexual become room-mates and have wacky adventures

The show is called ‘All or Nothing’

Plot twist: the asexual is really super outgoing and is a huge flirt while the pansexual is extremely socially awkward and has trouble ordering coffee let alone getting a date.


my hand slipped


She won a few years back by pretending she was a weakling.
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